Steward Cell!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I surrender

happy birthday to me! haiyah by the time i post this up its not my birthday anymore. im 19! hello! im 19!

just wanna share a bit here. last night i was thinking and i prayed to God. i thanked Daddy God for loving me. i thanked him for watching over me for 19 years and 5 years as a Christian. den i thought God didn't love me. God didnt give me what i wanted badly. I wanna get into a local uni. God didnt give me. I asked God to soften my parents' hearts so they will accept and allow me to go to church. But i felt God didnt bother to do something. I felt so hurt.For the past few months, i was really disappointed. I hate to admit but i was disappointed with God and myself. But last night when i was listening to corrinne may's Five Loaves and Two Fishes. I broke down and i cried.

Five Loaves and Two Fishes - Corrinne May
A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

I don't know how to say. It was amazing cos God touched me again. I felt tired of hiding and i need rest. I told God i don't wanna look back anymore. I want to move on. I will not try to clear the mess on my own again. I wanna let go and let God. I told myself to let it go and i really need God in my life. I pray i can do it :) haha and i said i wont cry anymore but im sucha crybaby i don't think i can do that. hmmm this uni admission helped me cos i learnt only God can satisfy my soul. only Him. Lastly, i wanna share one song and that is all i wanna say. i love you guys :)

十字架上的光芒温柔又慈祥
带着主爱的力量向着我照亮
我的心不再隐藏完全地摆上
愿主爱来浇灌我在爱中得自由释放
我愿意降服我愿意降服
在你爱的怀抱中我愿意降服
你是我的主你是我的主
永远在你怀抱中
你是我你是我的主

Labels: Ai Ning

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